Perfectionism and the Nervous System: What a Wrong Phone Number and My Drum Taught Me

Sometimes the things we try hardest to get right end up revealing something deeper about how our nervous system is trying to keep us safe.

For over 6 months (yes... 6) I handed out business cards with the wrong phone number on them.

Not a tiny spelling mistake. My actual professional phone number was wrong.

Two 5s instead of two 9s.

Wrong number discovered...only 6 months later

I only found out because, in the space of 2 days, new clients tried calling me and couldn’t get through. Thankfully they found me via Instagram and my website and asked me about my number...

When I realised — oh my. Confused. Horrified.

How could I have let this happen? I'm sure I checked it!

How many people tried to call and thought I was unprofessional?

How did I not notice this for so long?

The inner critic showed up fast. My tummy clenched.

There was shame… that familiar hot feeling.

But something else happened: I didn’t spiral.

A few years ago, corporate-me would have analysed it for hours and turned this into a full identity crisis.

Instead, I paused. I sat with the discomfort. I accepted the mistake. I tapped (thank you EFT tapping), regulated my nervous system with some of my favourite tools, and got curious.

Then I moved forward. A humbling experience, for sure.

The lovely Eddie (from the clinic Better Balance Wellness in Double Bay, here on the photo with me) helped me correct the numbers - thank you again.

New cards are on their way soon. With the right phone number this time.

Eddie & I at the Better Balance Wellness clinic in Double Bay - the wrong number gets pointed out (again)!

And if you ever tried to call or message me and couldn’t get through… I’m truly sorry!

My lesson on getting things perfectly right didn’t stop here…

What I didn’t realise at the time was that this mistake would reveal something deeper about perfectionism and how the nervous system tries so hard to protect us from judgement, criticism or shame (just to name a few!).

Not long ago, I made an 18” shamanic drum. I made my first drum back in 2023 and loved the experience.

Cutting the hide during the drum making workshop

The process takes a full day and is deeply intentional. As you build it, you’re invited to notice your emotions and patterns.

Mine didn’t take long to show up:

“This isn’t symmetrical enough.”

“Make it prettier.” (Classic Libra)

“That knot isn’t good enough, redo it.”

Tightening the laces that stretch the hide over the frame (and my perfectionist tendencies)

That night, just as I was drifting off to sleep, I realised:“OMG. I forgot to tie back the first knot. My drum isn’t finished!”

Half asleep, I tried to fix it anyway. Then I lay there quietly disappointed in myself.

My new, almost finished, perfectly imperfect shamanic drum that I adore (and it plays beautifully too)

The next day I checked with the facilitators. It was secure. The drum was fine. But a part of me wasn’t.

The way I stretched the hide over the frame isn’t perfectly symmetrical. Some knots are visible. My handiwork is clearly visible.

And I realised I adore it completely. Just as it is.

When I look at it, I see character, beauty, uniqueness.

It was never about the drum. It was about the part of me that believes what I create has to be perfect to be worthy.

And if it isn’t good enough… maybe I’m not either. That’s the sting of perfectionism.

That’s how my nervous system learned to stay safe.

✅ If I get it right, I won’t be criticised

✅ If I make it perfect, I won’t be judged

✅ If I don’t make mistakes, I won’t feel shame

Perfectionism isn’t just about high standards. It’s about protection.

Yes it’s intelligent - but it’s exhausting.

It keeps us correcting, replaying conversations at night, rewriting emails 3 times before sending them. That constant low-level pressure in the body.

Maybe you recognise yourself in that?

If you do — the never-quite-enough voice, the body that braces and tries so hard to keep you safe — we can explore it together.

Nervous system work doesn’t just change how we think about things. It changes how they actually feel in the body. And to me, that’s freedom.

If any of this feels familiar, I’d love to connect. Book a free connecting call here.

With Heart,

Claudia 🤍

Holistic Practitioner for Emotional & Nervous System Health

Certified & Accredited EFT Practitioner · Heart Coherence · Somatic EMDR · Trauma-informed